Keeping it all together...

Yep this song is my life!

It has been almost three months that Ryan has been gone, besides the amazing Mexico trip in the middle. I could sit here and go on, and on about how utterly empty life is without him; but I'm not gonna do that.....instead I'm gonna focus the positivity of the situation.

Ryan and I have been living with each other since we were 18 years old! We grew up together, and became as one in a lot of ways. Overtime Iv'e seen myself become more reserved as Ryan is, and I've seen him become a little "weird" I guess you could put it, as I am. When you spend so much time with someone It's hard to individualize who you are without that person.

This time apart has honestly resonated a lot of things in our relationship. Ryan has always been my rock, and in the past I have really depended on him for a lot of things, so for me to not have him here, it has honestly forced me to grow as an individual a tremendous amount. It also makes it easier, because we are both pursuing our dreams, and testing our limits daily.

I think this in return has made us realize how much we need each other. Its put both of us and our relationship to the test, and has only proven to make us stronger.

With all of this being said I'm always in count down, and just the thought of graduating from OTA school then being with Ryan again makes me giddy!

Way too many count downs....

A little mail love....

 Ryan's Birthday care package<3

So honestly why say my name is RyAnn, when they'll put Ryan anyways....haha so at Starbucks I'm Ryan;)

I don't get many selfies from this guy, but this one is definitely my fav. 

 I love it when he puts thought into his texts;) 

Lets be real the rock is what really has been keeping me sane;)

Would you except anything less then endless selfies sent to Ryan daily??

Always Missin our uncle Ryan.....<3

The Engagement

Before this trip to Mexico it seemed like everyone had to give me their thought on whether or not Ryan would propose. Most were betting on it, then there were some (my sister) who said if she knows Ryan as well as she thinks she does, hes not gonna do it because its too expected.

Lets be real Ryan and I have been together since our senior year in HIGH school, and have lived together for going on 7 years! No matter what during any sort of special event the thought is going to cross my mind!

So as Ryan and many know I'm not one for surprises, and am a huge snooper. When he got home and started unpacking, he left me alone with his stuff multiple times. I knew then that he didn't have a ring with him. This was upsetting, but I did my best to ignore my internal thoughts and enjoy being with him! It had been two months since we'd seen each other!

I MISSED that man so much!

Day #1 We did something I've always wanted to do.....Snorkeling! What a blast that was! Its another world down there! I have to say I've never tasted so much salt in my life! YUCK!

Day #2 Jammed pack day of fun! 

We went to Mayan Ruins, for a little traditional Mexican history! It was honestly breath taking!

 12-ing!

 Then we went to paradise beach and got ourselves some little Wilson drinks! 

Day #3 Beach/pool

 With a touch of night life down town Playa!

Day #4 Cancun and Playa is full of the beautiful sink holes, and caves! 

These are just high lights, there is so much more, it was a perfect trip full of some amazing memories!

Day #5

Our last day on the trip, half of our group already left, but our plane didn't leave until around 5pm so we decided to go eat breakfast and walk on the beach, before our long sad trip home....

One thing ill never forget about that special day is how amazingly calm the ocean was! It was so beautiful. 

Before our walk I told Ryan to not let me forget to get a picture of Mexico written in the sand. At this point I was %100 sure he wasn't gonna do it on this trip;( but I couldn't help but be so happy about being able to experience this perfect trip and  perfect piece of paradise with my best friend. 

When we walked far enough down the beach where we were about to turn around, Ryan asked me what I was excited most about going home. I looked at him, and told him how annoying it was going be to tell everyone that he didn't propose on this trip, he looked at me and smiled, and of course assured me it would happen soon. 

We then got about half way back to our resort, and he asked me if I still wanted to write in the sand, I said yeah, and he was like well are you gonna write it or am I? Duh he knows how much a hate my hand writing! 

He made a heart then wrote the first M, and went to the other side of the heart and wrote another M with a question mark, and as blonde I am, I was confused on if he was trying to write M&Ms or Mom....What the hell is he doing to my Mexico in the sand picture!? haha before I could pass my blonde moment he was on one knee with the ring in his left hand!

I can't tell you how in shock I was! He played it off beautifully! Of course I was a drama queen on the beach telling him how mad I was that he waited until the end, and how was for sure he wasn't gonna ask. He said "so that's a yes?!" I didn't even comprehend that he asked me to marry him! 

It was absolutely perfect! I have to say I loved this surprise!<3

Instead of Mexico, we decided to write the year we are planning to get married! 

Ps. The ring was hidden in the new little sound box he just bought the whole time!!